Why do athletes look so good in practice and then feel like a completely different player in games?
If you are a parent, you have probably felt this.
You watch them in practice and think, there it is. That is who they are. They are confident, engaged, making plays, and trusting themselves.
And then game day comes.
Something shifts.
They hesitate. They overthink. They play smaller. You can almost feel them holding back. And you are sitting there wondering how the same athlete can look so different in a matter of hours.
I hear this all the time.
They are amazing in practice, but in games, it all falls apart.
Let me reassure you right away.
This is not a talent issue.
This is a performance under pressure issue.
Nothing about your athlete’s ability disappears between practice and a game. What changes is what is happening in their mind and body.
In practice, the environment feels safe. Mistakes are part of learning. There is space to try things, to mess up, to figure it out. The focus is on getting better.
In games, everything feels different.
Now there is fear of making mistakes. Fear of being judged by coaches, teammates, and yes, even parents. The stakes feel higher, even if no one has said anything out loud.
The body tightens. Thoughts speed up.
And this is where the shift happens.
Instead of reacting, athletes start thinking.
Instead of trusting, they start questioning.
Instead of playing, they start trying not to mess up.
That one shift changes everything.
I want to give you a picture of what this looks like from the inside, because this is where the emotional piece really lives.
I worked with an athlete who had just joined a more competitive team. In practice, she was right there. Confident. Engaged. Doing all the right things. You would never look at her and think she was struggling.
Then came games.
It was like she disappeared.
Not because she did not care. Not because she was not trying. If anything, she was trying too hard.
When we talked, she said something I hear more often than you might expect.
“Everyone else is better than me. I don’t want to mess up.”
You could feel the weight of that.
Now think about what that does in a game.
Every time the ball comes to her, there is a split second of hesitation.
“Should I go?”
“Should I pass?”
“What if I lose it?”
“What are they going to think?”
So she defers. She plays it safe. She pulls back instead of stepping in.
From the outside, it can look like a lack of confidence or even effort.
But that is not what it is.
Nothing about her ability changed.
What changed was her thinking under pressure.
So we simplified everything.
We gave her one clear focus. Be aggressive and stay present.
That was it.
Not ten things. Not a full game plan in her head. Just one anchor she could come back to when the moment started to speed up.
And slowly, she started to show up again.
Not perfectly. Not all at once. But you could see her reappear in the game. Taking chances. Trusting her instincts. Letting herself play.
That is the process.
So how do we help athletes bridge that gap between practice and games?
It starts with giving them tools they can actually use in the moment.
The first is a reset.
Every athlete is going to make mistakes. That is not the problem.
The problem is what happens after.
Without a reset, one mistake turns into two, then three, and suddenly the whole game feels off.
A simple reset can change everything.
A deep breath
A quick cue like next play
Eyes up and re-engage
Confidence is not about never messing up. It is about knowing how to come back when you do.
The second piece is narrowing their focus.
In games, less is always more.
If an athlete is trying to think about playing well, scoring, not messing up, and what everyone else is doing, their brain is overloaded.
Give them one clear cue.
“Look, drive”
“Step, go”
“Look, talk”
Something simple and actionable that brings them back into the moment.
The third piece is helping them understand pressure.
The goal is not to eliminate nerves. That is not realistic.
Even elite athletes feel nervous. They feel doubt. They feel pressure.
The difference is they have learned how to perform with those feelings, not wait for them to go away.
This is an important reframe for both athletes and parents.
If your athlete struggles in games, it does not mean something is wrong with them.
They are not broken. They are not weak mentally.
They are simply untrained in how to handle pressure.
And that is something we can absolutely build.
Here is what I want you to hold onto.
Confidence is not built in practice alone.
It is built in how an athlete responds when things are not going perfectly, when the game speeds up, and when the moment feels bigger.
That is where real confidence is formed.
If your athlete is showing up one way in practice and a completely different way in games, you are not alone. This is one of the most common challenges I see, and it is very workable.
If you want support in helping your athlete build real, competition-ready confidence, you can reach out to me here
https://ewperformance.com/contact/
